It Gets Easier

I’m not here to comfort you. It’s not my job to sugarcoat the self improvement journey. Rather, I hope to illustrate that your struggles of today will not be your struggles of tomorrow.

Here’s my usual workout analogy. I’ve been lifting weights for several years. I’d call myself a proficient athlete, strong by many standards. People stare at me when I enter the gym. Friends and family often marvel at the difficulty of my life. They think of me as some kind of superman, maintaining extreme willpower on such a consistent basis. Yes, I’m a hard worker with strong determination. But I’m nothing extraordinary. These outside observers are contextualizing their judgement with prior experience: hitting the weights twice in their life, and a weekly walk. Naturally, working out is a monstrous feat to them. These external onlookers exercise so rarely that each time is an excruciating experience. But to you and me, it’s just another day in the lab.

The truth is exercising, studying, socializing, everything, becomes easier after crossing the initial foreboding: that gray area where the work is difficult and yields no results. Once you cross this zone however, workouts stop leaving you sore, studying becomes a daily habit, and casual conversations don’t leave you mentally drained. This is the goal: to make the hard work look easy. Now, you can hit the gym everyday because it’s no longer difficult. And I mean really hit it, pushing for personal bests, and crushing one rep maxes.

Crossing this initial zone of foreboding should be the first goal of any self improvement endeavor. Those who cross become men, and those who quit remain boys. I’ve crossed this zone a couple times. First, when building my body. Next, when building this business. And most recently, when breaking out of my social shell. It’s hard at first, because you’re exerting much effort and seeing little results. It’s easy to get discouraged and lose faith in the process. You make excuses at this point. It took me a full year of daily workouts until I started seeing tangible results. And I felt like quitting everyday. But somehow, I emerged the other side victorious. There was no secret, I simply kept at it, refining my process until results were owed to me. Again, this step is what separates the men from the boys. It’s not easy, because it’s not meant to be.

There’s a silver lining within this harsh reality. Crossing this gray area just once gives you the innate belief that you can do it again. For example, successfully crossing this initial foreboding when building my body gave me the confidence that I could do it with this business. And I did. I’m not a massive YouTuber by any means, but I have a respectable following whom I’m extremely grateful for. Now, I see results for my effort. It’s this same confidence that gives me the belief I can literally accomplish anything. I could succeed in the fight game. I could make it in the corporate world. Sure I’ll suck at first and probably feel like quitting, but I have the ability to persevere through this gray zone until I see results. I’m so sure of this because I’ve done it before.

What’s my real world, implementable advice?

You need to break through this initial gray zone at least once in your life. Whether it’s by talking to that girl and overcoming your social anxiety, sculpting your dream physique, or developing a profitable business, doing it just once will give you the confidence that you can do it again. And it’s this confidence, ultimately, that will change your entire life.

Thank you for listening,

The Modern Samurai